Okay, haven't posted in a bit.  Sorry!  My comp is dying, cause we have a virus, so I'm typing this up at the library.  :(  My cell phone's dying, too.  That's sad....  I love my cell phone....

Anyway, my 'week o' fun' is almost over, and It's been great.  Tonight is the last event, The Lock-in! I really hope I don't fall asleep tomorrow....  Normally I stay up the whole 12 hours, BUT tomorrow I'm going skating as a 'back to the campus' party with my friends.

Oh, do any of you remember J, the stalker boy who was asking everyone for my number and E-mail?  Yeah.  He's transferred to my new campus, too.

The campus looks fabulous, by the way!  Classes atart on tuesday!  I'm so happy, because most of my friends have transferred with me, so we'll kind-of be together in some of our courses.  I don't know how many courses we'll actually have together but.... *shrug*

On a slightly more solemn note...  Kitty's back.  She's been sending me e-mails, apologizing and such.  I havn't replied to any of them, because, honestly?  I'm scared.  Because...  what if i actually figure out what's going on?  What if we start seeing each other again, and then somthing happens and she leaves?  What if she stays?  What if my family flips out again?  What if I can't trust her?

 Ther are so many ' what if ' s.  Is it supposed to be this way?  Am I not supposed to know what to do?  And now, the more that I think about it, was I not devasted about her leaving because I really don't love her?  Or was it becuase I really thought she'd come back?  I'm so confused.  I want to see her, to talk to her, to tell her I love her... even if it happens to turn out to be a lie later, because right now it's truth.  Is that selfish?  Everytime I think about her leaving again, my head starts pounding, and I feel sick.  Is that normal?  And when I think about her staying, I can't breath, but in a good way.

I don't know what to do.